The Ambulance Ride Home from Far Away Medical Center

Paramedic: Hey, is it cool with you if we stop off in Middlunowhere on the way home? There’s this place, Roadside Jack’s Country Store, that sells the world’s BEST apple pie.

P2P: TheĀ best?

Paramedic: Did I stutter?

P2P: Well then, we’ll have to stop and get some. Can’t turn down the world’s best apple pie. Particularly not if it’s Roadside Jack’s.


Twenty minutes of delicious descriptions later, as we cross the border into Middlunowhere…

Paramedic: I certainly hope he has pie today.

P2P: Hold on, you’re making this big fuss about going here. And you got me and the crew back home all excited about bringing back the world’s BEST apple pie, and it might not even be there?!

Paramedic: Roadside Jack is part man, P2P! He’s not God! He might not have made enough pie to feed the masses.


Fortunately, Roadside Jack’s apple pies were still available for purchase. And we called the crew at home to go and get vanilla ice cream ready for our ultimate return.


Paramedic: How can you live in New England and not ski?

P2P: I think we go over this EVERY TIME we get in the truck. I never learned. You were going to teach me last year, actually, remember? But then there was no snow.

Paramedic: Oh, right. Well, it’s supposed to be a bad winter this year. There will be lots of snow.

P2P: Yes. The woolly caterpillars are extra fuzzy this year. And there are squirrels all over the place.

Paramedic: ….I don’t think that’s how it goes, but I like your style.


  1. I must know where this pie can be found.

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