Scary Semester–Begin!

If you’ve been following/putting up with my whining lately, you’ll know I’ve been seriously debating leaving nursing school and going to paramedic school. Thanks to you, some good friends, and my family, I’ve decided to stick it out and finish nursing school. I think I’ll always see myself as an EMT. It’s become a huge part of my life, and a big piece of my identity. For a whole host of reasons, I figured I might as well get my RN now while I’m in the program, and bridge over to paramedic when I’m out–quite possibly through Creighton, which I hear is a phenomenal program. First things first though. Gotta buckle down and survive nursing school.

About half of our class from last semester made the cut to this semester. However, our class size is back up to the original starting number, because of transfer students and people having to retake these particular classes. Speaking of which, guess what my classes are this semester? My two least favorite things! Pedi’s and OB! Yayyyyyy!

Pedi’s scare me to death. In my 2.5-ish year EMS career, I think I’ve had maybe 4 or 5 pedi calls. Until I get to know them, I get nervous around healthy children, to be totally honest. I never know how to act. I do my best, but I spend a lot of time wondering, “Was that okay? Do they like me? Do they trust me?” and basically over-analyzing everything. My pedi clinical will be filled with very very sick kids, most of them who are unable to communicate. That scares me. A lot. On the bright side, I did recently take care of a friend’s kids for a few hours, and all of the kids (and myself) are still alive and happy. Not to brag (seriously…there’s nothing here to brag about. Like, at all), but it went much better than I expected, and we all had a great time.

As for OB/Maternity, learning about all the things that go wrong (and, okay, even all the things that go right!) with a pregnancy, labor, and delivery makes me squirm a little in my seat. I think I’d like to get married and settle down and do the whole family thing one day in the pretty distant future…until I have maternity lecture. It just…ugh. It sounds so painful. And…well…squirm inducing. Let me tell you, the quickest fix for that “Aww, all the rest of my friends are in relationships and having children. I’m so jealous” bug is a 3 hour maternity lecture. There have been a couple moments where I’ve wondered why anyone ever has kids. Ever.

That probably makes me out to sound horribly immature and childish. Fine. I have no problem putting on my big girl pants and helping with an OB call or a delivery or whatever. But that’s when you have the adrenaline pumping, and you simply have a job to do. Learning about it? Simply not enough adrenaline flowing through my veins to make that completely comfortable.

So, that’s where I’m at. I’ll keep you posted. Hoping actually starting my clinical will ease my anxiety about some of this stuff, but it’s not looking likely. I feel like I’m the only one that’s going to have a hard time with this, seeing how the majority of my classmates are parents and have done this themselves already. I feel wayy behind, even when we’ve just barely started. Here’s to hoping I can keep up! My goal is to end this semester feeling much more comfortable with both of those specialties.

Thanks for being there for me through all this!

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